Waking Up From the Fantasy

I think I finally woke up from the fantasy I was living in.

For a long time, I romanticized a situation that was never meant to grow. I filled in the gaps with hope, convincing myself that what I was experiencing meant more than it actually did. It was easier to believe in potential than to accept reality.

But clarity arrived when I got honest with myself about what I truly want.

I want a family. I want children. I want a life built on commitment, consistency, and love that doesn’t live in the shadows. Once I admitted that, the situation I was in no longer fit the future I’m trying to build.

I was investing my time and emotions in someone who was unavailable in all the ways that mattered. Someone whose life was already full, already chosen, already settled. I was only being offered what was convenient—moments without responsibility, connection without intention.

The hardest realization wasn’t about them.

It was about me.

For a long time, I hid behind the belief that I wouldn’t find anyone better. That this was as much as I deserved. I told myself I should be grateful for the attention, even if it came with limits that slowly chipped away at my self-worth.

I confused being wanted with being valued. I let attention stand in for love because, at the time, it felt safer than believing I deserved more.

But attention without intention is not love.

And connection without direction leads nowhere.

Staying meant abandoning parts of myself—my standards, my future, my voice. Leaving meant choosing alignment over illusion. It meant letting go of what felt familiar so I could make room for what actually fits the life I want.

I’m learning that love doesn’t require secrecy or self-sacrifice. It doesn’t ask you to shrink, wait, or settle. Real love meets you fully and openly.

And I hope that one day I’ll look back and know without doubt that I was always worth more than the things I allowed myself to endure.