09.16.24

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

A Lesson I Wish I Had Learned Earlier in Life

Looking back, the one lesson I wish I’d learned much sooner in life—or rather, that my parents should have instilled in me—was the burden of constantly “wearing a mask.” For years, I found interacting with people utterly exhausting, and I couldn’t figure out why. Now I realize it was because I was never truly being myself. I was always hiding behind a façade, pretending to be who I thought others wanted me to be. I wasn’t just afraid of being open or vulnerable—I was conditioned to believe that being myself was somehow wrong. Every time I showed my true self, it was met with criticism or disapproval, making me retreat even further behind the mask.

In my downtime, I finally felt at peace. Alone, I could drop the act, and for a moment, I could just be—no expectations, no pressure to live up to anyone else’s standards. I didn’t have to worry about disappointing anyone or feeling like I wasn’t enough. It was a brief but liberating escape from the constant performance I put on in front of others.

But what I wish I had understood earlier is how deeply I had tied my sense of self-worth to the attention of others. I equated attention with love, care, and approval. If someone wasn’t giving me their attention, I assumed it meant their feelings toward me had changed. That lack of attention made me feel insecure, like I wasn’t enough without their validation.

I see now how damaging that mindset was. It kept me in a cycle of seeking external validation instead of finding it within myself. I wish I had realized sooner that love isn’t about constant attention. True love, real care, doesn’t have to be flashy or always visible. And more importantly, the validation I was chasing from others was something I should’ve been giving myself all along.

If I could go back, I would teach my younger self that you don’t need anyone’s approval to feel worthy. I’d tell myself to take off the mask, to stop pretending, and to trust that I am enough as I am—without needing to perform for others. I wish I had learned earlier that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and that real connection comes from showing up authentically, not from trying to be perfect or constantly seeking attention.

The sooner we learn to love and accept ourselves, the sooner we can experience genuine peace and fulfillment. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to embrace this truth, but I’m grateful that I’ve finally learned it now.

But hey, better late than never, right? So, here’s to unmasking, embracing the awkwardness, and learning to just be me.

Yours truly,

The champion of overthinking