Dose of chevvi

Tag: poetry

  • “He won’t, and I can’t.”

    I can’t make him love me.
    he won’t.
    and i can’t.

    i can’t beg
    without ripping something out of myself.
    every time i hope,
    it hurts.
    every time i try to be “enough,”
    i lose a piece of me.

    i can’t keep showing up
    to be ignored.
    can’t keep softening my voice
    just to make space for his silence.

    i’ve cried in rooms
    he never even walked into.
    screamed in silence
    while he laughed somewhere else.

    he doesn’t see me.
    not really.
    not the way i need.
    and maybe he never will.

    but god, i tried.
    i tried to hold my breath long enough
    to be what he wanted.
    i tried to be small, quiet, simple.
    i tried to prove
    i was worth staying for.

    but i can’t keep bleeding
    just to keep his hands clean.

    he won’t love me the way i need.
    and i can’t keep pretending
    that’s okay.

  • “I Know, But Still…”

    I know I’m fine.
    I know I’m smart.
    I know I turn heads
    when I walk into a room.
    I know the power I carry.
    I know the softness too.
    I know how to smile
    when everything inside me is shaking.
    I know how to act like nothing ever touched me.

    But still…

    I doubt.
    I overthink.
    I replay shit that already broke me
    just to see if maybe it was my fault.
    I wonder if I’m too much,
    or not enough,
    or both at the same time.

    I flirt like I’m fearless.
    I laugh like I’m not hurting.
    I say “I know”
    when they tell me I’m beautiful
    but deep down I’m asking,
    would you still think so
    if you saw the mess I carry?

    The part of me that didn’t leave,
    that didn’t fight hard enough,
    that stayed quiet,
    that smiled
    just to get it over with.

    I know I didn’t deserve it.
    But sometimes I still feel like I did.

    Sometimes I feel hollow.
    Sometimes I feel numb.
    Like my body isn’t mine,
    just something I keep moving
    to make it through the day.

  • In the shadows

    In the void of my mind, you linger, you stay
    A haunting presence that won't go away
    Absent in flesh, but present in spirit
    A constant reminder of all that I fear

    Your whispers, like knives, cut deep in my soul
    Aching, throbbing, taking its toll
    You're a shadow, a specter, a weight on my chest
    A never-ending torment that won't let me rest

    You cloud my thoughts, distort my perception
    Leaving me drowning in a sea of deception
    Your absence suffocates, a crushing despair
    Leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air

    I try to break free, to escape from your grasp
    But you're a relentless foe, a never-ending rasp
    You're the one who is absent, yet always near
    A constant reminder of my pain and my fear

    But I'll keep fighting, even when it's hard
    I'll find a way to mend my broken heart
    For though you may linger, torment my mind
    I'll rise above the pain, leaving you behind.
    This poem reflects the struggles of battling with the persistent presence of negative thoughts and emotions. I try to describe feeling haunted by a ghostly presence that lingers in my  mind to reflect pain, despair, and a sense of suffocation. Despite the overwhelming weight of these feelings, I express at the end determination to push through the darkness and find a way to rise above the torment. The title "In the Shadows of Sorrow" encapsulates the theme of grappling with inner turmoil and seeking to overcome it as life can weigh us down sometimes it it’s important to know our shadows can be our strengths too

  • Harmony in Imperfections

    We could be a melody, full of imperfections,
    Our harmonies blending in unique directions.
    With each note we play, a new story is told,
    Creating a symphony, beautiful and bold.

    Our rhythms may clash, our tones may not match,
    But together we create a perfect patchwork.
    In our discord, there lies a hidden beauty,
    A song of love, woven with complexity.

    So let us embrace our flaws and mistakes,
    For they are what make our music great.
    In our imperfections, we find our connection,
    A melody of love, pure and perfection.

  • Shadow side

    Beneath the confident facade that I show the world,
    there's a quieter side not everyone sees unfold.
    Though I may appear strong and outgoing in light,
    I truly cherish moments of peace in my own quiet night.

    I find solace in simple joys like lazy Mondays in bed,
    though speaking to crowds fills me with dread.
    My passion lies in making a positive change,
    and exploring new hobbies keeps my life rearranged.

    Photography, rollerskating, or learning a new craft,
    bring me fulfillment and memories of my grandmother's past.
    Though others' opinions may weigh on my mind,
    traveling and meeting new faces help me unwind.

    I have a quirky sense of humor, hidden behind sarcasm's veil,
    and accents for fun, like my British one, never fail.
    Through displacement and vulnerability, I've learned to embrace,
    life's challenges with humility and grace.

    There's a side of me that craves attention and control,
    a shadow side hidden from the world's patrol.
    It's all me, flaws and all, that I'm learning to embrace,
    finding solace in my room, without the need to chase.

  • Embracing Change

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    Embrace it, welcome it
    Don't let it feel so strange

    But now I find myself
    In a constant state of fight
    Every drastic change I face
    Fills me with such fright

    I thought I was prepared
    For whatever life may bring
    But when it comes down to it
    I struggle with everything

    I try to push through
    To embrace the unknown
    But the fear inside me
    Has only grown and grown

    I know I need to change
    To grow and to evolve
    But the battle within me
    Is hard to resolve

    So I'll keep fighting on
    Despite the fear I feel
    Hoping that one day
    I'll find a sense of zeal

    For change is inevitable
    And I must learn to adapt
    To let go of my fears
    And leave behind the trap

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    I'll keep reminding myself
    Until my mindset rearrange.

    This poem delves into my internal struggle and fear that often accompany significant changes in life. I initially motivated myself to embrace change, but as I navigate through it, I find myself resisting, feeling overwhelmed and fearful. The poem delves into the difficulty of releasing fear and my journey of adapting and growing through change.

  • Bodies

    My body, your body, her body
    We are somebody, skin and bone
    Breathing, moving, feeling deeply
    In this world of flesh and tone

    My body is a vessel
    A home for my spirit to roam
    Scarred and imperfect
    But uniquely my own

    Your body is a story
    A dance of curves and lines
    A map of experiences
    Etched in every sign

    Her body is a mystery
    A universe to explore
    A symphony of emotions
    Each note, a silent roar

    I am somebody
    More than just this skin
    A soul on a journey
    Finding strength within

    My body, your body, her body
    We are all somebody, raw and true
    Embracing our imperfections
    In a world that's always new.

  • Garden

    In the garden of my soul, a delicate flower blooms,
    Petals of strength and beauty, dispelling all glooms.
    A treasure within, so deeply revered,
    My essence, my worth, so crystal clear.

    Like a precious gem, my value shines bright,
    Unwavering and true, even in the darkest night.
    Guarded with care, this sacred space,
    My inner sanctum, my saving grace.

    Just as the flower needs tender nurture and love,
    I cherish myself, like the stars above.
    For in valuing my essence, my true worth,
    I embrace all of me, from heaven to earth.

    So, honor your garden, your essence, your core,
    For within you lies a treasure, forevermore.
    Value yourself, as you would a precious art,
    For in loving yourself, you find the purest heart.

  • Caged

    Am I the bird in flight, or am I the cage,
    Enclosing my world in steel, silent rage?
    Perhaps I am both, the foundation and the bound,
    Yearning for freedom, yet the door cannot be found.

    My wings, once strong, now clipped by fear's embrace,
    My feet tethered to earth, longing for open space.
    In this prison of metal, a paradox resides,
    Protection or confinement, where truth hides.

    From dawn till dusk, I remain confined,
    Moving, yet never leaving the cage behind.
    Within these walls of my own design,
    I search for escape, a path to find.

    The cage offers refuge from the chaos outside,
    A semblance of happiness, a comforting tide.
    Yet amidst the safety, a yearning stirs deep,
    To soar beyond boundaries, where dreams sleep.

    I've yearned to spread my wings and take flight,
    But the cage holds me back, veiling my sight.
    Fear of the unknown, fear of what could be,
    Keeps me tethered to what I cannot see.

    Yet in the quiet of night, I ponder and dream,
    Of a life unencumbered, of a limitless stream.
    For if I were to break free from this cage,
    Would true freedom await, or an uncertain stage?

  • Faded into the shadows

    The darkness introduced me to heartbreak, a familiar face
    Seems you've left your mark once again
    I was drawn in by your hollow promises
    A fool to believe there was ever a spark to begin

    My heart aches for understanding
    Destiny already etched in stone
    Another disaster on the horizon
    We set off on this journey as friends, now lost and alone

    I'm searching desperately for myself
    My shadow lingers, but lacks substance
    Death's constant knocking at my door
    Becoming a tiresome presence

    She entered like a predator
    Tearing my heart into shards
    I only wanted a taste of love
    Didn't expect to lose what I held so dear

    Easily seen yet still blind to the truth
    Awake, yet feeling dead inside
    The lesson learned, the moral of the story
    Slowly descending into purgatory's tide

    Some may see me as last year's stock
    Just another forgotten category
    No glory to be found in this tale
    Like John Tory, I've become a distant memory

    Darkness claims its territory
    Sharing me with its sister, Death
    As I fade into the shadows
    Lost, forgotten, just a breath.