Dose of chevvi

Tag: pain

  • “He won’t, and I can’t.”

    I can’t make him love me.
    he won’t.
    and i can’t.

    i can’t beg
    without ripping something out of myself.
    every time i hope,
    it hurts.
    every time i try to be “enough,”
    i lose a piece of me.

    i can’t keep showing up
    to be ignored.
    can’t keep softening my voice
    just to make space for his silence.

    i’ve cried in rooms
    he never even walked into.
    screamed in silence
    while he laughed somewhere else.

    he doesn’t see me.
    not really.
    not the way i need.
    and maybe he never will.

    but god, i tried.
    i tried to hold my breath long enough
    to be what he wanted.
    i tried to be small, quiet, simple.
    i tried to prove
    i was worth staying for.

    but i can’t keep bleeding
    just to keep his hands clean.

    he won’t love me the way i need.
    and i can’t keep pretending
    that’s okay.

  • “I Know, But Still…”

    I know I’m fine.
    I know I’m smart.
    I know I turn heads
    when I walk into a room.
    I know the power I carry.
    I know the softness too.
    I know how to smile
    when everything inside me is shaking.
    I know how to act like nothing ever touched me.

    But still…

    I doubt.
    I overthink.
    I replay shit that already broke me
    just to see if maybe it was my fault.
    I wonder if I’m too much,
    or not enough,
    or both at the same time.

    I flirt like I’m fearless.
    I laugh like I’m not hurting.
    I say “I know”
    when they tell me I’m beautiful
    but deep down I’m asking,
    would you still think so
    if you saw the mess I carry?

    The part of me that didn’t leave,
    that didn’t fight hard enough,
    that stayed quiet,
    that smiled
    just to get it over with.

    I know I didn’t deserve it.
    But sometimes I still feel like I did.

    Sometimes I feel hollow.
    Sometimes I feel numb.
    Like my body isn’t mine,
    just something I keep moving
    to make it through the day.

  • In the shadows

    In the void of my mind, you linger, you stay
    A haunting presence that won't go away
    Absent in flesh, but present in spirit
    A constant reminder of all that I fear

    Your whispers, like knives, cut deep in my soul
    Aching, throbbing, taking its toll
    You're a shadow, a specter, a weight on my chest
    A never-ending torment that won't let me rest

    You cloud my thoughts, distort my perception
    Leaving me drowning in a sea of deception
    Your absence suffocates, a crushing despair
    Leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air

    I try to break free, to escape from your grasp
    But you're a relentless foe, a never-ending rasp
    You're the one who is absent, yet always near
    A constant reminder of my pain and my fear

    But I'll keep fighting, even when it's hard
    I'll find a way to mend my broken heart
    For though you may linger, torment my mind
    I'll rise above the pain, leaving you behind.
    This poem reflects the struggles of battling with the persistent presence of negative thoughts and emotions. I try to describe feeling haunted by a ghostly presence that lingers in my  mind to reflect pain, despair, and a sense of suffocation. Despite the overwhelming weight of these feelings, I express at the end determination to push through the darkness and find a way to rise above the torment. The title "In the Shadows of Sorrow" encapsulates the theme of grappling with inner turmoil and seeking to overcome it as life can weigh us down sometimes it it’s important to know our shadows can be our strengths too

  • Faded into the shadows

    The darkness introduced me to heartbreak, a familiar face
    Seems you've left your mark once again
    I was drawn in by your hollow promises
    A fool to believe there was ever a spark to begin

    My heart aches for understanding
    Destiny already etched in stone
    Another disaster on the horizon
    We set off on this journey as friends, now lost and alone

    I'm searching desperately for myself
    My shadow lingers, but lacks substance
    Death's constant knocking at my door
    Becoming a tiresome presence

    She entered like a predator
    Tearing my heart into shards
    I only wanted a taste of love
    Didn't expect to lose what I held so dear

    Easily seen yet still blind to the truth
    Awake, yet feeling dead inside
    The lesson learned, the moral of the story
    Slowly descending into purgatory's tide

    Some may see me as last year's stock
    Just another forgotten category
    No glory to be found in this tale
    Like John Tory, I've become a distant memory

    Darkness claims its territory
    Sharing me with its sister, Death
    As I fade into the shadows
    Lost, forgotten, just a breath.

  • The girl that lives inside me

    The girl inside me, she crept in like a thief in the night

    A festering word, poisoning my soul with blight

    Infecting my organs, a dark force taking hold

    A shadow in my heart, a story left untold

    She lingers in the depths, a haunting specter of pain

    A relentless tormentor, driving me insane

    Whispers of darkness, echoing in my mind

    A curse I can’t shake, a truth I can’t unwind

    I try to resist, to push her away

    But she’s a part of me, here to stay

    The girl inside me, a raw and primal force

    A reminder of my battles, a source of remorse

    She may be a thief in the dark, a poison in my veins

    But she’s a part of who I am, bound by invisible chains

    The girl that lives inside me, a raw and untamed beast

    A constant reminder of pain, a relentless inner feast.

    So I carry her with me, this girl inside my core

    A reminder of my struggles, a battle fought before

    She may be a thief in the night, a festering word within

    But she’s a part of who I am, a story that will never end.

  • Shades of love

    Shades of love


    Take the pain that lingers, let it rise, let it flow,
    Through the cracks of my soul, let emotions overflow.

    Some say I'm crazy, but in my truth, I'm sane,
    Waiting for my moment, to break free from the chain.
    If only there was a way to erase the past,
    To banish the hurt, to make it the last.

    So don't just watch as I fade away,
    In the depths of despair, where shadows play.
    Fight for me, hear my silent plea,
    Every ache, every throb, sets my spirit free.

    Love once felt like a dream, so far from reach,
    But with you, it's real, a lesson I teach.
    Break the curse, let me see your light,
    Guide me through the darkness, make everything right.

    Let me feel again, with just a touch, a kiss,
    With you, love blooms, it's something I'd never miss.
    They can't hold me now, I'm breaking free,
    Your voice, a beacon, guiding me to be.

    Tough on the outside, but inside, I'm soft,
    You're my monster, and I'm willing to be lost.
    Hold the strings, let's dance in the rain,
    Love may be fragile, but it's our eternal flame.

    We're shades of madness, wild and free,
    You breathe life into me, you're my destiny.
    The missing piece, in a puzzle so vast,
    My inspiration, my love, built to last.

    It may seem uncertain, but for you, I'll try,
    Never too late for love, let's spread our wings and fly.
    For a girl like me, with walls held so high,
    Loving with my heart, not just my mind, I'll defy.

    I'll fill your heart until it's bursting with me,
    Until you see, until you finally believe.
    It took time to realize, your love's plea,
    But now, I see it, you loved me, you love me.