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Tag: identity

  • Whose Life Are You Living?

    I’ve learned that trying to become the person your parents hope for can be honorable—but only if it doesn’t cost you yourself. When a life is lived primarily to meet someone else’s expectations, it can slowly fill with regret. Not loud regret, but the kind that settles in quietly and shapes how you show up in love, in connection, and in honesty.

    Love becomes confusing when you’re unsure whose life you’re living. It’s hard to give yourself fully to another person when you haven’t given yourself permission to be fully you.

    I hope people remember that respect for parents doesn’t require self-abandonment. You can honor where you come from without losing sight of where you’re going. And sometimes, learning what love is starts with choosing authenticity over obligation.

  • Waking Up From the Fantasy

    I think I finally woke up from the fantasy I was living in.

    For a long time, I romanticized a situation that was never meant to grow. I filled in the gaps with hope, convincing myself that what I was experiencing meant more than it actually did. It was easier to believe in potential than to accept reality.

    But clarity arrived when I got honest with myself about what I truly want.

    I want a family. I want children. I want a life built on commitment, consistency, and love that doesn’t live in the shadows. Once I admitted that, the situation I was in no longer fit the future I’m trying to build.

    I was investing my time and emotions in someone who was unavailable in all the ways that mattered. Someone whose life was already full, already chosen, already settled. I was only being offered what was convenient—moments without responsibility, connection without intention.

    The hardest realization wasn’t about them.

    It was about me.

    For a long time, I hid behind the belief that I wouldn’t find anyone better. That this was as much as I deserved. I told myself I should be grateful for the attention, even if it came with limits that slowly chipped away at my self-worth.

    I confused being wanted with being valued. I let attention stand in for love because, at the time, it felt safer than believing I deserved more.

    But attention without intention is not love.

    And connection without direction leads nowhere.

    Staying meant abandoning parts of myself—my standards, my future, my voice. Leaving meant choosing alignment over illusion. It meant letting go of what felt familiar so I could make room for what actually fits the life I want.

    I’m learning that love doesn’t require secrecy or self-sacrifice. It doesn’t ask you to shrink, wait, or settle. Real love meets you fully and openly.

    And I hope that one day I’ll look back and know without doubt that I was always worth more than the things I allowed myself to endure.

  • “I Know, But Still…”

    I know I’m fine.
    I know I’m smart.
    I know I turn heads
    when I walk into a room.
    I know the power I carry.
    I know the softness too.
    I know how to smile
    when everything inside me is shaking.
    I know how to act like nothing ever touched me.

    But still…

    I doubt.
    I overthink.
    I replay shit that already broke me
    just to see if maybe it was my fault.
    I wonder if I’m too much,
    or not enough,
    or both at the same time.

    I flirt like I’m fearless.
    I laugh like I’m not hurting.
    I say “I know”
    when they tell me I’m beautiful
    but deep down I’m asking,
    would you still think so
    if you saw the mess I carry?

    The part of me that didn’t leave,
    that didn’t fight hard enough,
    that stayed quiet,
    that smiled
    just to get it over with.

    I know I didn’t deserve it.
    But sometimes I still feel like I did.

    Sometimes I feel hollow.
    Sometimes I feel numb.
    Like my body isn’t mine,
    just something I keep moving
    to make it through the day.

  • In the shadows

    In the void of my mind, you linger, you stay
    A haunting presence that won't go away
    Absent in flesh, but present in spirit
    A constant reminder of all that I fear

    Your whispers, like knives, cut deep in my soul
    Aching, throbbing, taking its toll
    You're a shadow, a specter, a weight on my chest
    A never-ending torment that won't let me rest

    You cloud my thoughts, distort my perception
    Leaving me drowning in a sea of deception
    Your absence suffocates, a crushing despair
    Leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air

    I try to break free, to escape from your grasp
    But you're a relentless foe, a never-ending rasp
    You're the one who is absent, yet always near
    A constant reminder of my pain and my fear

    But I'll keep fighting, even when it's hard
    I'll find a way to mend my broken heart
    For though you may linger, torment my mind
    I'll rise above the pain, leaving you behind.
    This poem reflects the struggles of battling with the persistent presence of negative thoughts and emotions. I try to describe feeling haunted by a ghostly presence that lingers in my  mind to reflect pain, despair, and a sense of suffocation. Despite the overwhelming weight of these feelings, I express at the end determination to push through the darkness and find a way to rise above the torment. The title "In the Shadows of Sorrow" encapsulates the theme of grappling with inner turmoil and seeking to overcome it as life can weigh us down sometimes it it’s important to know our shadows can be our strengths too

  • Shadow side

    Beneath the confident facade that I show the world,
    there's a quieter side not everyone sees unfold.
    Though I may appear strong and outgoing in light,
    I truly cherish moments of peace in my own quiet night.

    I find solace in simple joys like lazy Mondays in bed,
    though speaking to crowds fills me with dread.
    My passion lies in making a positive change,
    and exploring new hobbies keeps my life rearranged.

    Photography, rollerskating, or learning a new craft,
    bring me fulfillment and memories of my grandmother's past.
    Though others' opinions may weigh on my mind,
    traveling and meeting new faces help me unwind.

    I have a quirky sense of humor, hidden behind sarcasm's veil,
    and accents for fun, like my British one, never fail.
    Through displacement and vulnerability, I've learned to embrace,
    life's challenges with humility and grace.

    There's a side of me that craves attention and control,
    a shadow side hidden from the world's patrol.
    It's all me, flaws and all, that I'm learning to embrace,
    finding solace in my room, without the need to chase.

  • Embracing Change

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    Embrace it, welcome it
    Don't let it feel so strange

    But now I find myself
    In a constant state of fight
    Every drastic change I face
    Fills me with such fright

    I thought I was prepared
    For whatever life may bring
    But when it comes down to it
    I struggle with everything

    I try to push through
    To embrace the unknown
    But the fear inside me
    Has only grown and grown

    I know I need to change
    To grow and to evolve
    But the battle within me
    Is hard to resolve

    So I'll keep fighting on
    Despite the fear I feel
    Hoping that one day
    I'll find a sense of zeal

    For change is inevitable
    And I must learn to adapt
    To let go of my fears
    And leave behind the trap

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    I'll keep reminding myself
    Until my mindset rearrange.

    This poem delves into my internal struggle and fear that often accompany significant changes in life. I initially motivated myself to embrace change, but as I navigate through it, I find myself resisting, feeling overwhelmed and fearful. The poem delves into the difficulty of releasing fear and my journey of adapting and growing through change.

  • Unveiling Strength: Black Women’s Resilience

    In the shadows of society, we stand,
    Black, marginalized, with dreams unplanned.
    Our voices muted, our struggles unseen,
    Yet still, we’re objectified, as if we’re not even human beings.

    We’re strong, we’re resilient, we rise above,
    But society sees us through a lens devoid of love.
    Our bodies judged, our worth defined,
    By the male gaze, our value confined.

    But we are more than just objects of desire,
    We are fierce, we are powerful, our souls on fire.
    We stand tall, we break free from the chains,
    Embracing our beauty, our strength that remains.

    let us reclaim our power,
    Let us stand together, in unity, every hour.
    We are black, we are marginalized, but we are not defined,
    By the oppressive standards that seek to confine.

    We are queens, we are warriors, we are magic untold,
    Our stories, our voices, forever bold.
    So let us rise, let us shine, let us be seen,
    As the strong, resilient women, breaking barriers, breaking free.

    #International women’s day

  • Bodies

    My body, your body, her body
    We are somebody, skin and bone
    Breathing, moving, feeling deeply
    In this world of flesh and tone

    My body is a vessel
    A home for my spirit to roam
    Scarred and imperfect
    But uniquely my own

    Your body is a story
    A dance of curves and lines
    A map of experiences
    Etched in every sign

    Her body is a mystery
    A universe to explore
    A symphony of emotions
    Each note, a silent roar

    I am somebody
    More than just this skin
    A soul on a journey
    Finding strength within

    My body, your body, her body
    We are all somebody, raw and true
    Embracing our imperfections
    In a world that's always new.

  • Soulful Understanding

    Some of us are just pure souls, shining bright
    In a world so complex, trying to make things right
    Through the chaos and confusion, we strive
    To find peace and understanding, keep our spirits alive

    We ask questions, seek answers, try to comprehend
    The intricacies of life, its twists and bends
    With open hearts and minds, we explore
    The depths of our existence, what we're here for

    We may not have all the answers, but we'll keep on trying
    To make sense of this world, keep our souls flying
    Together we'll navigate the complexities we face
    And find beauty and meaning in this wondrous place

    So let's embrace our pure souls, and never lose sight
    Of the magic and wonder that surrounds us, day and night
    In unity and love, we'll find our way
    And make sense of this complex world, come what may.

  • Caged

    Am I the bird in flight, or am I the cage,
    Enclosing my world in steel, silent rage?
    Perhaps I am both, the foundation and the bound,
    Yearning for freedom, yet the door cannot be found.

    My wings, once strong, now clipped by fear's embrace,
    My feet tethered to earth, longing for open space.
    In this prison of metal, a paradox resides,
    Protection or confinement, where truth hides.

    From dawn till dusk, I remain confined,
    Moving, yet never leaving the cage behind.
    Within these walls of my own design,
    I search for escape, a path to find.

    The cage offers refuge from the chaos outside,
    A semblance of happiness, a comforting tide.
    Yet amidst the safety, a yearning stirs deep,
    To soar beyond boundaries, where dreams sleep.

    I've yearned to spread my wings and take flight,
    But the cage holds me back, veiling my sight.
    Fear of the unknown, fear of what could be,
    Keeps me tethered to what I cannot see.

    Yet in the quiet of night, I ponder and dream,
    Of a life unencumbered, of a limitless stream.
    For if I were to break free from this cage,
    Would true freedom await, or an uncertain stage?