Dose of chevvi

Category: identity

  • Letter to myself -Ending 2025

    Letter to myself -Ending 2025

    If no one ever tells you this out loud, let it be written here: you survived a year that quietly reshaped you.

    Dear Me,

    You made it to the end of 2025. Pause for a second and really sit with that. This year tried you in ways you couldn’t have predicted, and yet—here you are. Still standing. Still learning. Still choosing yourself more than you used to.

    2025 wasn’t gentle, but it was honest. It showed you what drains you, what nourishes you, and what you can no longer pretend doesn’t hurt. You learned that walking away is not failure—it’s wisdom. That peace is not boring. That consistency matters more than words. And that you never need to shrink to be loved correctly.

    You grew quieter this year, but stronger. You stopped over-explaining. You stopped chasing clarity from people who thrived on confusion. You started trusting that uneasy feeling in your chest—and every time you did, it proved you right.

    This year taught you that healing isn’t linear. Some days you felt powerful, other days exhausted. Both were real. Both were allowed. And neither erased the progress you were making, even when it felt invisible.

    You learned to protect your energy. To rest without guilt. To take yourself seriously. To believe that what you want isn’t “too much”—it’s simply not for everyone.

    I’m proud of you for choosing growth even when it was lonely. For staying soft in a world that rewards numbness. For continuing to dream, even when disappointment tried to convince you to settle.

    As you step into the next chapter, remember this:

    You don’t need to prove your worth.

    You don’t need to earn basic respect.

    You don’t need to rush what’s meant to last.

    Carry the lessons, not the weight. Carry the confidence, not the fear. Carry yourself the way you wish others had.

    You did more than survive 2025—you became more you.

    With gratitude and trust,

    Me

  • Waking Up From the Fantasy

    I think I finally woke up from the fantasy I was living in.

    For a long time, I romanticized a situation that was never meant to grow. I filled in the gaps with hope, convincing myself that what I was experiencing meant more than it actually did. It was easier to believe in potential than to accept reality.

    But clarity arrived when I got honest with myself about what I truly want.

    I want a family. I want children. I want a life built on commitment, consistency, and love that doesn’t live in the shadows. Once I admitted that, the situation I was in no longer fit the future I’m trying to build.

    I was investing my time and emotions in someone who was unavailable in all the ways that mattered. Someone whose life was already full, already chosen, already settled. I was only being offered what was convenient—moments without responsibility, connection without intention.

    The hardest realization wasn’t about them.

    It was about me.

    For a long time, I hid behind the belief that I wouldn’t find anyone better. That this was as much as I deserved. I told myself I should be grateful for the attention, even if it came with limits that slowly chipped away at my self-worth.

    I confused being wanted with being valued. I let attention stand in for love because, at the time, it felt safer than believing I deserved more.

    But attention without intention is not love.

    And connection without direction leads nowhere.

    Staying meant abandoning parts of myself—my standards, my future, my voice. Leaving meant choosing alignment over illusion. It meant letting go of what felt familiar so I could make room for what actually fits the life I want.

    I’m learning that love doesn’t require secrecy or self-sacrifice. It doesn’t ask you to shrink, wait, or settle. Real love meets you fully and openly.

    And I hope that one day I’ll look back and know without doubt that I was always worth more than the things I allowed myself to endure.

  • In the shadows

    In the void of my mind, you linger, you stay
    A haunting presence that won't go away
    Absent in flesh, but present in spirit
    A constant reminder of all that I fear

    Your whispers, like knives, cut deep in my soul
    Aching, throbbing, taking its toll
    You're a shadow, a specter, a weight on my chest
    A never-ending torment that won't let me rest

    You cloud my thoughts, distort my perception
    Leaving me drowning in a sea of deception
    Your absence suffocates, a crushing despair
    Leaving me gasping for a breath of fresh air

    I try to break free, to escape from your grasp
    But you're a relentless foe, a never-ending rasp
    You're the one who is absent, yet always near
    A constant reminder of my pain and my fear

    But I'll keep fighting, even when it's hard
    I'll find a way to mend my broken heart
    For though you may linger, torment my mind
    I'll rise above the pain, leaving you behind.
    This poem reflects the struggles of battling with the persistent presence of negative thoughts and emotions. I try to describe feeling haunted by a ghostly presence that lingers in my  mind to reflect pain, despair, and a sense of suffocation. Despite the overwhelming weight of these feelings, I express at the end determination to push through the darkness and find a way to rise above the torment. The title "In the Shadows of Sorrow" encapsulates the theme of grappling with inner turmoil and seeking to overcome it as life can weigh us down sometimes it it’s important to know our shadows can be our strengths too

  • Fleeting Hope, Lingering Pain

    In the depths of despair, a shadow resides,
    Whispers of doubt, where my heart abides.
    Why do good things slip away from my reach,
    Leaving my soul wounded, unable to preach?

    I dare not dream, for fear of the fall,
    Every success, a fleeting, cruel call.
    A cycle of loss and heartache, it seems,
    Leaving me broken, adrift in my dreams.

    I feel unworthy of joy, of love, of light,
    As if all good things will vanish from sight.
    But within me, a voice cries out to believe,
    That there's hope beyond what I perceive.

    I must confront the darkness, the pain, the strife,
    Embrace the shadows that haunt my life.
    For even in sorrow, there's a flicker of flame,
    A promise of healing, of release from shame.

    So I'll cling to the hope, despite the despair,
    And trust that my heart will learn how to repair.
    Though setbacks may come, I'll rise from the dust,
    For I am deserving of love, of joy, of trust.

  • Embracing Change

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    Embrace it, welcome it
    Don't let it feel so strange

    But now I find myself
    In a constant state of fight
    Every drastic change I face
    Fills me with such fright

    I thought I was prepared
    For whatever life may bring
    But when it comes down to it
    I struggle with everything

    I try to push through
    To embrace the unknown
    But the fear inside me
    Has only grown and grown

    I know I need to change
    To grow and to evolve
    But the battle within me
    Is hard to resolve

    So I'll keep fighting on
    Despite the fear I feel
    Hoping that one day
    I'll find a sense of zeal

    For change is inevitable
    And I must learn to adapt
    To let go of my fears
    And leave behind the trap

    I told myself two years ago
    Don't be afraid of change
    I'll keep reminding myself
    Until my mindset rearrange.

    This poem delves into my internal struggle and fear that often accompany significant changes in life. I initially motivated myself to embrace change, but as I navigate through it, I find myself resisting, feeling overwhelmed and fearful. The poem delves into the difficulty of releasing fear and my journey of adapting and growing through change.

  • Caged

    Am I the bird in flight, or am I the cage,
    Enclosing my world in steel, silent rage?
    Perhaps I am both, the foundation and the bound,
    Yearning for freedom, yet the door cannot be found.

    My wings, once strong, now clipped by fear's embrace,
    My feet tethered to earth, longing for open space.
    In this prison of metal, a paradox resides,
    Protection or confinement, where truth hides.

    From dawn till dusk, I remain confined,
    Moving, yet never leaving the cage behind.
    Within these walls of my own design,
    I search for escape, a path to find.

    The cage offers refuge from the chaos outside,
    A semblance of happiness, a comforting tide.
    Yet amidst the safety, a yearning stirs deep,
    To soar beyond boundaries, where dreams sleep.

    I've yearned to spread my wings and take flight,
    But the cage holds me back, veiling my sight.
    Fear of the unknown, fear of what could be,
    Keeps me tethered to what I cannot see.

    Yet in the quiet of night, I ponder and dream,
    Of a life unencumbered, of a limitless stream.
    For if I were to break free from this cage,
    Would true freedom await, or an uncertain stage?